16 December 2017

DREK AHEAD/THE VOID/2016





One of the most disappointing things about some newer films is sitting down to watch what you have read or heard will be a fairly passable horror film only have something like The Void tossed in your face like a bowl of rancid sauerkraut. Most reviews I had read seemed to talk about how this one harkened back to the cool practical effects laden John Carpenter styles flicks of the 80’s. Well, while the 80’s had it fair share and then some of bad films they were still in the end more entertaining than this mess, even the ones that had Klaus Kinski in them. It is mostly a bunch of people all holed up and an old hospital (thus creating your obligatory claustrophobic environment) all yelling and screaming at each other (thus creating your tense and dramatic moods) who have to fend off what appears to a Satanic branch of the KKK outside the hospital and keep from being killed by all sorts of slimy monsters from the inside. Sure, some of the monsters looked kind of cool, but not cool enough to compensate for all the shaky ass camera work and poor actors delivering poor dialog while trudging through the lackluster story line. I will be honest, I had to stop watching it after about 15 minutes do to the shaky cam work. I hate that shit. I did skim over the movie to get to the end and watched a few scenes here and there and later discovered online I was not the only one who had to resort to this method to at least half ass justify writing this “review” of the film. The movie stokes my ire all the more because of the plethora of praise online the film gets. Oh it played at this or that film festival and blah blah blah and who gives a damn. 

Speaking of John Carpenter (someone’s whose films I mostly like and The Thing remake is perhaps my favorite horror movie of all time) he said elsewhere, talking about all the bad horror movies we have to wade through these days, that there have always been bad horror movies, even in the 80’s, along with the good ones. Well, duh. The problem nowadays I feel is just the sheer volume of drek that is slamming viewers and that often sucks us in with alluring tag lines and cool "retro" styled  posters (like this one). It seems to never end. The lies and deceit. Even the old straight to video schlock of 90’s seems watchable in comparison. Well almost. That’s stuff sucked too. But it sucked and we all knew it sucked and no one lied about it. The filmmakers (like Charles Band and Lloyd Kaufman) knew it all sucked and it was done tongue in cheek. Some films played it serious and came out cool and campy. But all of this stuff like the void is, like modern music, lacking in some sort of fundamental sincerity of purpose. It is going to rely on post production trickery to make it marketable to the lowest common denominators of society (like myself I guess) and have members of the obscure cast and crew go onto IMDb and write bullshit 10 star reviews about it. I am beginning to realize a horror movie actually needs something called a budget after all and at a few actors who have done something other than a few TV commercials in their careers. Lead actor Aaron poole is supposed to have some sort of TV pedigree but he was utterly boring and trying way too hard, and he was a s good as it gets here. Avoid the void.

11 October 2017

JAPANESE EXPLOITATION FILM POSTERS

I wonder if anybody else out there ever went through a phase like I did, where they totally thought stuff like old Japanese exploitation type films were super arty and superior. They were all collectively cult classics and only a superior human being could appreciate them, someone with a higher intellect and exquisitely refined taste. Then after watching a couple hundred of these things you begin wondering to yourself, halfway through some storyline lacking but nicely shot  black and white Japanese film loaded with gratuitous nipple shots and white panties galore, "what the fuck is this garbage!?" 

This reaction is often from pathetic people who have been brainwashed by a country based around a profit driven corporate mentality (not Japan of course) into thinking that some big budget Hollywood film with a coherent story line and good acting and production values is better than some grainy ass film school experiment featuring girls with hairy arm pits. The same morons also think a hamburger and chili cheese fries is better grub than cold rice rolled up in seaweed and stuffed with raw fish. Losers. What do they know? But in the end we all know these films are in fact better, because they are usually loaded with lots of cute topless Japanese girls in underwear and that's what good film making has anyways been about in the end. (NOTE: Of course there are great films from Japan, especially from the late 50's to early 70's, and I have seen many, many. Of both the good and bad variety. Not all the films on this list are actually all that bad and a couple are almost kind of good. I just need to make that clear.)









09 October 2017

EROTIC HORROR ART

Sometimes what a blog needs is weird drawings and paintings of nekked women with squids ravaging their genitalia. I'm telling you. People are sick of long winded movie exposes and analysis. God knows I am. Give me Euro-trash lesbian vampire art and women being seduced by slimy ghouls any day.  Sadly, these sorts of posts become my big draws in terms of traffic. I actually would like to do a nice, brainy (half-brainy anyway) movie review or genre article. But when zombie rape cartoons are guaranteed to draw 10x the traffic with no actual writing or thinking involved on my part who I am to argue with what the masses want. 





THE URANIUM CAFE PODCAST - EPISODE 15/IT COMES AT NIGHT/47METERS DOWN/CARNAGE PARK



THE URANIUM CAFE PODCAST EPISODE 15

IT COMES AT NIGHT
47METERS DOWN
CARNAGE PARK




28 September 2017

THE URANIUM CAFE PODCAST/EPISODE 14/THE SHALLOWS/LEATHERFCE/PREACHER


          

THE URANIUM CAFE PODCAST/EPISODE 14

THE SHALLOWS
LEATHERFACE 2017
PREACHER




24 September 2017

THE URANIUM CAFE POCAST/EPISODE 13/THE MUMMY 2017


       

THE URANIUM CAFE PODCAST EPISODE 13


I wanted to like The Mummy, but something went wrong. But for me it was something other than what I am reading about online. Okay, all of that stuff too, but I had another major issue with the film and I am not seeing it addressed much, if at all, online.
I don't think I'm alone in this. What is it that disturbs me so? well, come on,
you gotta listen to podcast to find out.

28 May 2017

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES/COLLECTION OF POSTER ART





Getting ready to give this Vincent Price classic from the 70's a rewatch and felt some poster sharing was in order. Surely one of the roles he is most associated with and this and the sequel are just great, fun movies to check out. Lush looking, a little funny in spots and and more than a bit freaky at times. Men have their faces "shredded"off by vegetarian fruit bats (Flying Foxes)! 

21 May 2017

BILL'S BULLPEN/THE DUBIOUS FUTURE OF THE URANIUM CAFE BLOG


I really feel more and more I am reaching the end of the line for this little blog, although I am unwilling to pull the plug just yet. I have reached a place where only one of two things will happen, I will find some solution to the problem or just walk away from it all. I think it is okay that one loses the drive for things he was once passionate for, especially when the object of that passion starts to become more of an albatross around his neck than a source of motivation and inspiration. That being said, it is also doable that he can change his mind set and approach to what he has been doing and then sit back and see if that helps. You can see this in musicians who get older, who still make music but not the type they once made, often to the chagrin of their fans. There was a time that writing articles about cult and horror movies consumed me and drove me. I fought to maintain the blog from inside China where Blogger is blocked and there is no such culture here that supports horror movies and comic books. You may think there is, but there is not. But I fought and in my opinion churned out a fairly decent blog and had plans for more and more stuff, but a few things happened along the road and I just got more and more cynical and jaded about the whole fucking charade. 

I used to join all the blog clubs and host the gadgets and widgets and banners on my sacred sidebar. I used to sport my post visit tracker and links to my RSS feeds (remember RSS feeds and howe people actually followed them?) with pride. I gave replies to comments that were nearly posts in themselves. I used to leave a short positive comment on other people's posts if I liked them. Shit, I used to actually read other people's blogs. But in truth a couple weird exchanges with some assholes back when I was open to collaborating with other bloggers, the continued lack of comments or feedback, the shift from people sitting at a computer (as I am now) and browsing the Internet to people scrolling down a goddamned mobile device and my own dropping of all social media involvement (my Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google + accounts have all been totally deleted) and my sudden lack of concern over comments or hits has put me in a strange place. And I can see it can either be a positive or negative thing. But probably negative knowing my "the glass is half empty" approach to life. Let me explore that a bit.

I am just going to post what I want (within the undulating context of the blog theme) and be damned with the results. My last three posts are an obit type thing (maybe my first and last of that style) and a couple Mexican comic book cover art posts. Coming up will be a Youtube video type category that will replace my stupid ass podcast. I will try to post something almost everyday, even if it is just a photo or gif, rather than wait until I get around to doing a big movie review. I do what I do and so mote be it.

I also removed an sort of gadget for Followers or that tracked visits here. I have gained about two new Followers over the last two years, taking my stagnant 150 all the way to 152. Why would I want to look at that? I may even disable comments if I remain annoyed at my lack of them. If people do not wish to leave them then I do not wish to receive them. It seems that that is how it is with many blogs these days. People skim and sample from their Galaxies or iPhones and do not have the inclination to leave a comment. I can understand it. But it still sucks and if the lack of comments or interaction aggravates me I may just take that concern off the table and blog for no other reason than I enjoy doing it for myself. I appreciate the traffic the site still gets, even after I have removed all social media linkings (Facebook, Twitter, Google + and all that) and I thank the people who drop in. I love you. But in the end it is ultimately it can become self defeating to want to have something and never get it. But in the end that is not the ultimate reason I do the blog. What is that reason? I dunno, neurosis maybe. And is there any better reason to labor away at something no one gives a hoot about but yourself?


NOTE: After this post I decided to set the restrictions on my comments to a place where they will basically disabled. I see no reason to have comments enables at this time. I think it only prevents me from wanting to blog more. If you like the content awesome and thank you. If you tried to leave a comment but could not I am truly sorry. I am not a misanthrope. But one comment every four or five months, maybe,  is not worth the effort of clicking on the little comment section button to check. 


EROTIC AND ADVENTEROUS PULP MAGAZINE ART FROM MEXICO/RAFAEL GALLUR

Much like Oscar Bazaldua, whose work was featured here a while back, Rafael Gallur is know mostly for his work in the area of Mexican Ghetto Librettos, or Sensacionales, comics. The emphasis in these comics is on sex and violence and the drawing are typically over the top and graphic. Unlike Bazaldua however Gallur demonstrates a degree of restraint in his drawings in the areas of explicit violence and sexual posings of the subjects. The drawings are still pretty erotic but not as unnervingly so as in the works of Bazaldua and other pulp style Mexican illustrators. The drawings here are simply a bit more heroic in context than the drawings I presented before. There is still the politically incorrect chauvinistic atmosphere that may offend some people with larger than life muy macho men looming over scantily clad females who are often presented in some compromising position or another. The women themselves appear tough and dangerous but they are still frail compared to the male characters who all seem fairly lethal. Almost all of the drawings here are western themes and are finely detailed and rendered. I am not sure if he is working alone here or with somebody else helping with coloring chores and if anybody has more info I will pass that on in a future post. The drawings seem to show more of an influence from American pinup and magazine cover art than some of the other Ghetto Librettos drawings I have seen but the liberal use of vivid primary colors and lurid subject matter is something that you just don’t see that much of north of the border. I have not seen the inside of one of these magazines and if anybody has scans of the interior work I would love to see them. I used to live in San Antonio Texas but to be honest I never saw anything like this there, and now I am in China and it is simply impossible to find western comic books of any sort here. Spiderman is subversive enough here.